The Widow's Little Secret Read online

Page 4


  “It’s my husband’s,” Mattie told him again. “That’s what the whole town thinks and that’s what I’m letting them believe.”

  “Just your little secret. Is that it?”

  Mattie gazed up at Jared and jerked her chin. “Yes, my little secret.”

  This baby could have been Del’s, if they’d had a normal husband-wife relationship. The town didn’t know any differently, and Mattie had decided to let them believe it.

  After all, telling the truth would label her baby a bastard. What kind of choice was that?

  “Did you ever intend to tell me?” Jared asked.

  She turned away. “No. I was never going to tell you.”

  Jared drew in a big breath, then let it out slowly, as if he’d come to terms with everything she’d said, made some sort of decision about it.

  “Let’s go,” he said.

  Mattie frowned. “Go? Go where?”

  “To the church.”

  “Whatever for?” she asked.

  “We’re getting married.”

  Chapter Four

  “Married?”

  “Yes. Married,” Jared said. He took her hand. “Right now.”

  She pulled away from him. “I’m not going to marry you.”

  “Yes, you are.” He eased closer, crowding her. “You’re carrying a baby. My baby. I’m taking responsibility for what I did and we’re getting married.”

  “Nobody knows it’s your baby. I told you, the whole town thinks it’s Del’s.”

  “I know it’s mine.” Jared tapped his finger against his chest. “I’m not turning my back on you, or this baby.”

  Mattie lifted her chin. “I don’t want your help.”

  “Maybe you don’t want it but you sure as hell need it,” Jared told her. He looked her up and down. “You’re sick as a dog. You’re pale. You’ve lost weight. You can’t keep anything down.”

  For a lawman, he certainly knew a lot about having babies. Or he was just observant.

  “Yes,” Mattie admitted. “I’ve been sick. But that will pass.”

  “And you’re dead tired, aren’t you? You can’t make it through the day without lying down.”

  “If I have time I lie down, but I’m usually too busy at the restaurant.”

  “And what effect do you think that’s having on the baby?” he challenged.

  Mattie turned away from those fierce blue eyes of his, uncomfortable under his gaze. She tried to think of a reasonable response, but couldn’t.

  Finally she said, “Just because I’m sick and I need to take a nap is no reason for us to get married, of all things.”

  “Yes, it is,” Jared told her. “It’s the best reason. The only reason. I’m marrying you so I can take care of you, and make sure our baby comes into this world healthy.”

  “But—”

  “It’s the right thing to do.” Jared gave her a brisk nod. “And you know it.”

  She’d worried about all those things. Dr. Whittaker, Mrs. Nance at the restaurant—along with most every other woman in town—had cautioned her over and over again to take it easy.

  She did feel terrible. She was worn out by midafternoon. Was she being thoughtless? Was she being a bad mother? Was she jeopardizing her unborn child?

  More than anything, she wanted her baby to be healthy. Nothing was more important.

  Jared seemed to read those feelings in her expression. He pulled on his hat and opened the back door. “Let’s go.”

  Mattie hesitated a moment. “But—”

  “This isn’t about you and me,” Jared told her. “It’s about the baby.”

  What could she say to that? Mattie walked out ahead of him.

  Just beyond the gate in the white picket fence that surrounded her house, Mattie slowed, gazing toward Main Street. Jared was a few paces ahead of her. He stopped and turned back.

  “What about the Cottonwood?” Mattie asked. “What about my restaurant?”

  “Close it.”

  “Close it?” Mattie shook her head, stunned by the thought. “How am I supposed to support myself? What am I supposed to do for money?”

  “I’ll take care of you.”

  Her gaze roamed once more to the Cottonwood Café. Close it? Walk away? It had belonged to her parents. She’d worked there with them, side by side, with so many wonderful memories. She’d turned the place around and built it into the most popular eatery in Stanford.

  But that was before.

  Images of Del Ingram floated in Mattie’s mind. He’d drained every cent from her bank account without her knowing it. Had left her penniless. He’d also run up some sizable debts around town, debts she was saddled with.

  With no money, she’d been unable to buy meat and poultry to serve to her diners. It hadn’t taken long before her soups and vegetable platters lost favor with her customers. With no sausage or bacon on the menu, the businessmen who’d made the Cottonwood their spot for breakfast stopped coming.

  She’d had to let her serving girls and dishwasher go, and take on those chores herself. She held on to Mrs. Nance by a thread, paying her salary with what little money she took in; if the Silver Bell Restaurant on the other end of town hired her away, Mattie would be lost for sure.

  Her business had spiraled downward for months, since Del’s death. For a moment, Mattie considered doing as Jared said, closing it. Free herself from the work, the worry. Could she do that?

  Mattie shook her head. “I can’t close the Cottonwood. I just can’t.”

  Jared’s brows drew together; obviously he was unhappy with her decision. “Then let Mrs. Nance run it. Or open it only part of the day. Hire more help. You can keep it open, but you’re not going to be over there all the time.”

  Mattie’s back stiffened. “I made the restaurant what it is. I can’t just turn it over to hired help.”

  A little frown creased Jared’s forehead. “Anybody can run that restaurant, Mattie, but only you can have this baby.”

  She wished he’d stop making so much sense. Jared clasped her elbow and they walked to the church.

  As they crossed the yard beneath the trees, Mattie’s steps slowed again until he was nearly pulling her along. At the bottom of the stairs, she stopped completely, with Jared on the step above her, glaring down. The door stood open and Reverend Harris’s voice drifted out. He was rehearsing his sermon, it seemed.

  “We don’t even know each other,” Mattie said.

  Jared raised an eyebrow at her. “We know each other well enough.”

  Mattie’s cheeks flushed, remembering the extent of their intimacy. She’d spent many a night thinking about U.S. Marshal Jared McQuaid in the weeks after he’d left Stanford, left her bed. Their one night together had been like no other.

  Then she’d found out she was pregnant.

  Mattie lifted her chin. “Don’t think that just because we’re married that you and I are going to…well, you know.”

  “What?” He looked a little confused, but Mattie saw the grin pulling at his lips.

  “You know what I mean,” she informed him, crossing her arms in front of her.

  “Oh.” Jared nodded broadly. “You mean make love.”

  Mattie flushed bright red. “Shh. Keep your voice down. We’re at the church, for heaven’s sake.”

  “It won’t hurt the baby, you know,” Jared said. His grin turned into a full smile. “And after that one night we were together, I figured you’d be anxious to—”

  “Just hush!” Mattie pushed past him and stomped into the church.

  Her bravado disappeared when she stepped inside. Where she was and what was about to happen smacked her in the face. Mattie backed up and bumped into the solid wall of Jared McQuaid standing behind her.

  “Jared, I—I don’t know—”

  “Reverend Harris!” Jared’s voice boomed over her head, carrying through the church and startling Reverend Harris, who was standing at the altar.

  The reverend adjusted his spectacles and squinted at them
, then smiled.

  “Ah, yes, good afternoon,” he called, closing his Bible and stepping into the aisle.

  Jared’s big, strong body pressed against Mattie’s back, easing her between the rows of pews toward the front of the church.

  “Jared, I’m not sure—”

  “We want you to marry us,” Jared called out.

  Reverend Harris looked as stunned as Mattie felt, hearing the words spoken aloud. Jared splayed his hand over her back, urging her down the aisle. Mattie dug in.

  Jared moved to her side and looked down at her. “This is for the baby, Mattie. Not you. Not me. The baby.”

  He’d said it softly so only she could hear.

  “It’s the only sensible thing to do,” Jared said.

  Sensible. Yes, it was that. And Mattie had been sensible her whole life. Well, most of it, anyway.

  “Let’s get this over with,” he said.

  Jared pulled her down the aisle behind him, clutching her arm with one hand, offering his other to Reverend Harris. His palm felt rough, his fingers strong. Jared held tight to her as if he feared she’d bolt for the door.

  Maybe she should.

  “This is quite a surprise,” Reverend Harris said, looking back and forth between the two of them.

  “Like I said, Reverend,” Jared said, “I want you to marry us. Right now.”

  Reverend Harris’s eyebrows bobbed toward his hairline. “Well, now, this is sudden. You’ve just arrived in town, Sheriff, only this morning.”

  Jared leaned forward slightly and lowered his voice. “I guess you heard about Mrs. Ingram’s…condition.”

  The reverend glanced at Mattie. His cheeks flushed. So did hers.

  “Well, yes, I’d heard,” he said. “But still, I don’t understand. You want to marry her?”

  “A woman alone? Having a baby?” Jared shook his head. “A woman can’t raise a child by herself. It’s not right. Not natural.”

  “Yes, that’s true enough,” the reverend agreed. “A woman needs a man to take care of her.”

  “Damn right—excuse me, Reverend—of course she does.”

  “But still…” the reverend said.

  “It’s my duty to do the right thing by her.”

  Reverend Harris frowned. “Your duty?”

  Jared drew in a breath. “Del Ingram was my friend. We grew up together. Del saved my life. I owe it to his memory to take care of his wife and baby.”

  “Oh, I see.” Reverend Harris nodded thoughtfully. “Saved your life, did he?”

  “He did,” Jared said.

  The reverend mulled it over for a moment, stroking his chin, then nodded. “Well, all I can say is what a good man you are, Sheriff McQuaid, taking on this responsibility.”

  Reverend Harris smiled at Mattie. “You’re a mighty lucky young gal to have this man stepping in the way he is. I hope you appreciate what he’s doing.”

  “I want you to marry us right away,” Jared said. “Today. Now.”

  “Well, all right. Can’t see any point in waiting…considering.” Reverend Harris glanced at Mattie’s belly. “I’ll go get the missus for a witness.”

  Anxious to get the ceremony over and done with, Jared grumbled under his breath as he watched the reverend leave the church. Beside him, Mattie stood rigid. A little pink blush highlighted her pale cheeks, emphasizing the dark circles under her eyes. He knew she didn’t feel well.

  He knew she might turn and run at any minute.

  Mattie seemed docile enough right now, but he didn’t know how long his luck would hold. He wanted this service over and done with before she changed her mind.

  “Is it true?” Mattie asked softly.

  She looked up at him, her eyes wide and hopeful.

  “Is what true?” he asked.

  “About Del. He really saved your life?”

  “Hell, no.” Jared snorted. “The bastard nearly got me killed twice.”

  “Oh.”

  Mattie turned away, disappointment turning down the corners of her mouth. Maybe he should have lied to her, confirmed the story he’d told the reverend. Surely she’d like to think there was something honorable in the man she’d chosen to marry, that there was some kernel of goodness in him.

  Especially after the way things had turned out.

  “Where’s that reverend?” Jared mumbled, craning his neck to see out the window.

  “Were you and Del—”

  “There he is—about damn time.” Jared strode to the doors of the church and escorted the reverend and Mrs. Harris to the altar.

  Mrs. Harris, still wearing her apron, giggled behind her hand. “Oh, a wedding. How lovely. Why, I just love a wedding. Don’t you want some flowers, dear? I can get you some from the garden. Oh, and let me play something on the piano for the occasion. How about—”

  “We don’t have time for flowers or music,” Jared said.

  Mrs. Harris’s tittering stopped and she looked properly admonished. “Oh, well, all right.”

  Jared waved toward the reverend. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

  Reverend Harris opened his Bible. “Very well, let’s see now…”

  Jared glanced down at Mattie. She inched away from him. He latched on to her elbow and stepped closer.

  “Reverend, you want to speed it up here?”

  “Oh, yes, certainly.” Reverend Harris adjusted his spectacles and held his Bible out in front of him. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today—”

  “We don’t need that part,” Jared said.

  “Hmm? What?”

  “We don’t need that part,” Jared repeated. “Move it along.”

  “Well, then, let’s see.” Reverend Harris cleared his throat. “Do you, Jared McQuaid, take this woman—”

  “Yeah, yeah, sure I do.” Jared felt Mattie glaring up at him, but he refused to look at her. He made a spinning motion with his fingers. “Keep going, will you?”

  The reverend adjusted his Bible. “And do you, Mattie Ingram, take this man to be your lawful—”

  “We know all that stuff,” Jared said. “Jump ahead.”

  The reverend exchanged a troubled look with his wife. “Very well. Mattie, will you marry this man?”

  “Sure she will,” Jared insisted. “Go on, pronounce us married. Now.”

  Miffed, Reverend Harris closed his Bible. “She must answer the question herself, Sheriff.”

  “Look, Reverend, she’s here, isn’t we? She agrees. Just say we’re married and—”

  “Mattie?” the reverend asked. “Do you agree to this marriage?”

  Jared gave her arm a little shake. “Say yes.”

  Reverend Harris and his wife exchanged another look, then leaned a little closer to Mattie.

  “Well…” Mattie gulped.

  Mrs. Harris smiled gently at her. “Are you not sure, Mattie?”

  “Of course, she’s sure,” Jared insisted. “Answer him, Mattie. Let’s get this thing over with.”

  Reverend Harris smiled kindly. “Perhaps I can say a few words here that will help.”

  “Just say we’re married!”

  The reverend went on as if Jared’s words weren’t echoing off the church ceiling.

  “Mattie,” Reverend Harris said, “I admit I wasn’t in favor of your marriage to Del Ingram. But look how well that turned out. I’m sure this marriage will be just as wonderful as your last.”

  Mattie gasped and went white.

  Jared winced. He slapped his palm over his eyes, then dared to look at Mattie.

  Her cold, sharp gaze impaled him. Her breath came heavier, causing her shoulders to rise and fall.

  “Mattie,” Jared said. “We talked about this. We agreed—”

  He turned back to the reverend, his jaw set. “Hurry up. Say we’re married. Say it.”

  “But she hasn’t answered. I can’t pronounce you two married unless—”

  “Damn right you can,” Jared told him. “Just get on with it before—”

 
“But—”

  “Do it!”

  “No!” Mattie shouted.

  Mrs. Harris gasped. The reverend’s eyes widened.

  “No. That’s my answer.” She looked up at Jared. “No, I won’t marry you.”

  “Now look here, Mattie, you know—”

  “No!” Mattie wrestled away from him. “I won’t marry you! Not now, not ever! No!”

  She spun away from him and ran out of the church, slamming the door behind her.

  Halfway across the churchyard, Mattie heard Jared calling her name. She didn’t stop until she heard his footsteps behind her. She turned to find him towering over her.

  “Listen to me, Mattie, we’re going back into that church and we’re—”

  “No!”

  “You can’t raise this baby by yourself!”

  “Yes, I can!” She looked up into his face and saw that Jared was as angry as she.

  “Listen to me—”

  “No, you listen to me,” she told him. “I have a home and a business. I have friends to help me. I’m perfectly capable of raising this baby myself. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

  “You don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t know what you’re up against.”

  Mattie reined in her temper. “This doesn’t concern you. Everyone thinks this baby is Del’s and that suits me fine.”

  “It doesn’t suit me at all!”

  “I don’t care if it does or not,” Mattie told him. “You have no say in the matter. This baby is mine to take care of. Mine. Not yours.”

  A flash of pain came over Jared’s face. Mattie looked away and softened her voice. “From now on, you are to stay away from me. That’s my final word.”

  A minute dragged by, and Jared didn’t speak. She knew it would be hard on him to accept her decision, but it was for the best.

  Finally, she lifted her gaze to his face. His features burned with an intensity she’d never seen before.

  “Like hell I will.” He ground out the words in a low voice.

  Mattie nearly buckled under the weight of his pronouncement. She forced her chin up a notch. “I insist you respect my wishes,” she said.

  “I don’t give a damn about your wishes,” he told her. “That baby is mine and I don’t care who knows it.”

  A deep, sickening fear rushed through her. “You can’t mean that. You can’t poison this baby’s future by telling everyone the truth.”